raspberry tartlett

8kgs

raspberrytartlett — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 04:58:10 +0000

On Christmas morning I had lost 8kgs. I cannot say the same four days later. But I think I know where I went wrong, it was possibly an endless supply of chocolates and lollies. I have always had a sweet tooth and chocolate has always been my comfort food. But lately not finding any comfort at all anywhere I had given up chocolate and the weight was falling off. So I am back on the wagon of no chocolate or lollies mainly because I have eaten them all and they are all gone.

Losing that little bit of weight made me feel so much more positive about myself and if I have done it once (or four times) I can do it again.

Well!

raspberrytartlett — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 03:58:13 +0000

It has been ages since I have updated here.

Lots has been going on, I have left Old P for good and I have been seeing the new Psychiatrist for a year now. I have tried twenty trillion different drugs and combinations but so far have not found the right one for me. But I am ok mentally, surviving and looking after my two beatiful boys is all that matters.

Some other things are a big problem for me (as usual) my blood sugar levels are through the roof (I have been eating well, just not well enough and I haven’t been exercising. Plus also some of the drugs I am on really effect BSLs). And fanfare: my weight is not good.

I am now 97kg and my hbA1c is approx 10.

My goal is 55kg and hbA1c of approx 6.

So there is a lot of work to be done and it is not really that hard when you think about it – why is it so hard about putting one foot in front of the other for 30-45mins per day. My eating is pretty good most of the time – healthy food and portions - it is the bingeing that is so difficult to stop – all tied up with having OCD and an anxiety disorder among other things.

omg

raspberrytartlett — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 02:43:01 +0000

that just about sums it all up…..omg….

5kg heavier than my last post – 97.5 and my goal is 55kg.

New psychiatrist is very clever and capable and definitely knows my games

Hair is getting quite longish

Love that song omg and I also love aeroplane.

Have been in hospital for nearly five weeks trying to get better in the head. New meds have been tried and discarded and now I am on a new med regime that feels positive and heading in the right direction. Less obsessing and more normal thinking.

Still going up

raspberrytartlett — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 05:32:32 +0000

On the scales that is…. 92kg.

Fuck. This has to stop. Now.

So what am I going to do about it?

I am going to walk my arse off. It will be good for my fucked up head and it will be good for my body. Oh yes and I am going back to karate next Tues after having a billion months off. Not even sure if I will manage one push up, but I will be there with bells on.

All of my doctors and head shrinkers have been away and then we went away twice over the break and my head is done in. Tomorrow I will be back in the chair with my new P and that will mark the beginning of my newfound happiness and sparkles and rainbows and all that stuff.

Long time no see

raspberrytartlett — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 04:26:09 +0000

Soooooooo…….

Much has been happening at Chez Whackjob, mostly in the line of getting better in the head.

New meds, new psychiatrist, still seeing old psychologist but trying to be healthier with all of that.

And now it is time to get better physically. Cue lots of positive affirmations that will run through my head as my new mantra.

I will weigh 55kg by July 2010 (as I weigh 89.5kg that means I have to lose 34.5kg)

I will walk one hour every day

I will do my Paul McKenna hypnosis every day

I will achieve my goals come hell or high water

I will have sex with old Psychologist (alright Kitty I know I know)

sigh

raspberrytartlett — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:29:24 +0000

wish I could say I am feeling ok

I miss my ex-therapist

am counting the days until I see my new one (four weeks and five days)

am so addicted to farmville it is not funny

and rollercoaster

my favourite song at the moment is the one by vanessa amarossi

my favourite place at the moment is being with my bestie hanging out at her work

getting new hairdo on friday bit shorter and trillions of whiteblonde foils – that is if the nits are gone – fucking nits at 40 wtf?

my favourite books atm are the Lincoln Rhyme series by Jeffery Deaver

my favourite tv show atm is Australian Idol – GO STAN this is about the only tv show that I watch

my favourite chocolate atm is Cadbury Snack family block, but I like the Cadbury Peppermint bubbly too

the person I look up to the most is my hubby, love his guts

I know I know

raspberrytartlett — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 05:37:10 +0000

Clearly I am unwell. It is only five weeks and two days until I get to see my new psychiatrist. I am very much looking foward to this so I can get my ex psychologist out of my head. To say I am obsessed with him is putting it mildly.

In other news – well there is no other news. How can I survive the next five weeks and two days? Any suggestions?

What…

raspberrytartlett — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 07:35:13 +0000

…is outside my window: the sun is all glowy in the late afternoon over the garden

…I am thinking: that I want to see my therapist so badly even though he is not my therapist anymore.

…I am thankful for: my beautiful husband and two children, sunny days, family and friends.

…I’m making for dinner: spaghetti bolognaise with garlic bread.

…I’m wearing: really old shorts and a t-shirt. Hair in a pony tail.

…I had for lunch: a family block of Cadbury Snack and a Pepsi Max

…I’m creating: really fabulous fishtanks and a roller coaster park.

…I’m reading: The Bone Collector by Jeffrey Deaver

…I’m hoping for: sex with my therapist.

…I’m hearing: my next door neighbours having more fun than me

…is happening around my house: not much

…is one of my favorite things: fantasizing about sex with therapist

…are my plans for the weekend: ironing like a mofo for customers who give me the shits, fantasizing as mentioned above.

woot

raspberrytartlett — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:38:45 +0000

All mine.

Long time no see

raspberrytartlett — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:29:49 +0000

Overwhelmed with sadness, self-loathing and manic thoughts.

On a lighter note:

well there is no lighter note at the moment.

I am totally estranged from my family due to the fact that they are utter fucks.

I have put on 6kgs in about 3 months. That did take a considerable amount of effort – totally no exercise and eating at least a family block of chocolate per day. A huge amount of time lying in bed in an obsessive state about my therapist.

I am heartily sick of being so sick and if I am going to be a mental fucktard for the rest of my life at least I can be a healthy one.

I am so sad and deluded and it is TIME TO STOP!

NO MORE

I am going to reverse this pathetic downward spiral into an upward spiral of looking after myself and making my body and mind as healthy as can be.

You will know if this is happening if you see me posting here. I will be posting lovely glorious uplifting posts about my exercising jaunts and healthy eating and inspirational quotes.